Chap. 21 Changing the channel The girl who Abandoned Destiny by ALESSANDRO NICCOLI NafisBookEditor

21

Changing the channel

The following day, early in the morning, Safaa and Nafis saluted the sun, starting with the typical yoga postures they knew. Safaa called for them to do the Surya Namaskara, or the Sun Salutation, with full energy; it was that series of Hatha Yoga asanas that she knew and repeated cyclically early in the morning to find the right energy, an aura of protection, and to start the day well.

That morning, as the sun rose, the greeting became a ritual. The sun’s energy in that moment was intense, and Safaa practiced the greeting in full together with prāṇāyāma, rhythmic breath control, mantras, and mudrā hand gestures to seek balance between the mind, body, and spirit, paying special attention to the chakras. She expressed her devotion to that life-bearing sun, its energizing rays making nature bloom. Safaa's purpose, however, was not only devoted and symbolic to honor the sun, but it was also physical, allowing her to loosen up, stretch, and flex her muscles, soothing her internal organs and broadening her breathing.

As Safaa performed, her two friends followed her; they had all entered a state of near-catalepsy and meditation as they slavishly repeated Safaa's steps.

It was a continuous crescendo of meditation, contemplation of themselves, their surroundings, and their life energy. Eventually, they finished their ritual with a long bow, and then, they sat down and recited together the mantra, Om, the primordial sound of the Universe which was perhaps the most fascinating; it was the original vibration that was emitted at the dawn of the Earth, flowing through the Prana, one of the most powerful mantras of all time. In that North African setting, facing the dawn with the warm ocean breeze, the Om, recited by the three, unleashed an energizing power that reverberated along the beach.

A small number of seagulls in flight landed right next to them. The gentle sun rising from the desert fueled their energy, channeled outwards as a vibration that connected with the Earth's. It united all of the beings there, including the five camels that had never left their side.

When Om was finished, Khalil and Nafis stretched, then lay for a while, contemplating the whole thing as if reborn with eyes as bright and full of wonder as two children. After this, they ate the last remaining fruits with gusto, in a silent bliss that shone from their faces made orange by the sun's rays and the color of the great valley, and the three relaxed, each leaning against a weeping willow.

Safaa turned towards the sea and ate some grapes slowly. Then, she resumed her breathing deeply with half-closed eyes, kissed by a light ocean breeze that rose, barely rippling the waves. Suddenly, she stood up and walked towards the sea, wearing only a sky-blue veil that covered her breasts and belly. She left a fascinating wake behind her for her friends, who looked at her, puzzled. Slowly, she plunged into the cold ocean waters. The underwater dive lasted for a few minutes, aided by her previous long breaths as the water on the surface shimmered and reflected the sky; her eyes remained open, and the clear, bright, and cold water electrified her senses, so much so that she began to swim deeper and deeper, where she felt vibrations and distant sounds of the sea and its inhabitants.

Nafis and Khalil, who looked out to the open sea trying to understand, began to feel a little worried as Safaa slipped out of sight. The seconds ticked by, and their curiosity began to turn to apprehension, but they still stood, trusting; all the while, their heartbeats increased, beating the time like drums as the seconds ticked by. During this time, Safaa continued to swim deeper and deeper into the depths. A force was attracting her: it was the abyss, filled with deep ancestral sounds. It was the depths of all things, a clean silence filled with all the most inscrutable riches of nature, with only the sounds of the sea floor and universal sparks, accompanied by the faintest distant whale sounds.

Safaa knew that she did not have any more air and that she needed to come up, but she continued to descend. But, suddenly, a thought came to her: the best place to end one's life would be in that beautiful place, and she let herself be drawn for a few more seconds by that crazy thought, by the magical underwater environment that drew her down to the bottom like a magnet. She felt as if she were a fraction of a second from absolute wonder, and the thought came to her that this would be the best possible way to go: in a bright abyss, among the dolphins and amidst the usual crunching of the deep sea, and she did not care about that eventuality: it was part of life.

The abyss had kidnapped her, and her senses were leaving. And yet, part of her soul still touched the infinite space. Safaa was dying.

Her two friends walked towards the sea; their anxiety was now extreme, and they began to have doubts about Safaa's strength and her real intentions; their eyes started to produce tears, and their breathing was in turmoil.

They dived and swam, submerged in that infinitely bright space. They could see the bright sea, but they could not see her.

With one last gasp, her body was now deprived of propulsive energy, a flicker of instinct interrupted the onset of that last, lethal moment. Safaa’s eyes flew open to see the paradise in which she thought she was standing; she noticed the imminent glow above her. In that moment, she realized that it was just that immense blue sea reflecting the sun, and it hit her: the true paradise was real, here and now, and not elsewhere in an unknown realm; it was the land, and one should never have to imagine that they might drop out before the final call.

Her lungs had frozen in time, their volume greatly reduced due to the intense water pressure from the excessive depths to which she had gone; her diaphragm was still, and she had very few moments of life left to draw upon. She used those precious moments to climb up towards the light; it was getting closer, but she was not so close as to reach the air yet.

Now, she realized she was going to die; it would only take another moment, yet all the while, Nafis and Khalil were also in the middle of the sea, spinning left and right in a state of true terror and apprehension, now approaching total anguish. Safaa had disappeared! They had not foreseen this in that place forgotten by men and kissed by God.

But Nafis could not take it; he leapt out of the water and let out a piercing scream, crying, "Safaaaaa!"

She was now motionless, five meters below the water’s surface; she had not made it. However, when the distant voice of Nafis calling her came to her eardrums, her eyes opened once more, towards the light, and her fear of life disappeared; her diaphragm felt reactivated, and she let out all the air from her still lungs; a wave of energy reached the muscles in her legs and arms, and with a flick of her feet, her legs reactivated and gave her that last, much-needed strong push upwards, with her arms joined towards the sky. It was her last chance; one more moment and her lungs would have burst, now absent of air. The pain was unbearable, but she had just one chance to live.

Her eyes saw the sky above the water, and she was amazed. In those few moments between life and death, many thoughts had passed quickly through her mind, as if in a dream, unconscious and conscious, and among them, she thought that she would never want to leave the sky if only she could reach it.

The surface of the water was getting nearer and nearer. Her eyes were wide open, glassy; they could only be the eyes of a warrior, hopeful in the face of almost certain death, of the knowledge that she could no longer make it. Still, they expressed the unconscious will to make it, like those of an animal that always trusts that it will live just before its slaughter. Her eyes seemed to bulge out of their sockets, with tears that were lost in the water; the fight for life had become, for the first time, total for her.

It was almost over. The force of inertia from her potential momentum made her slide upwards for one last meter, but it was not enough. Still, when she was only a breath away from the surface of the water, she found the strength to give herself one last explosive, feeble slant with her legs, desperate to take in air again. Her lungs were now empty, and she simply couldn’t avoid inhaling a breath of water. She closed her nose with one hand to make up for the risk.

She leapt powerfully out of the water, as if she had been born a dolphin, and took a huge gasp of that much-loved and revered air. She carefully measured her intake of breath in the mornings during her yoga sessions, but here, she gasped desperately, and she let out a mighty scream of release, enveloped in the jet of spray she had caused.

TNafis had tears in his eyes and swam to her rescue, embraced her and said, "Safaa, where have you been?" and helped her back to shore.

Meanwhile, Khalil repeated four times, “Alhamdo lillah ala rahmatika ya Allah.”

She found herself lying on the warm sand under the sun's rays. The warmth nourished her cold skin, and her lungs were free and refreshed as never before. She felt them powerful, enriched, and mighty. Her chest looked like a giant walnut. It was the fortress of her strong lungs, the fortress of life, trained all her life with breathing exercises which perhaps had served her well to pass this test.

She remained motionless with her eyes closed, breathing deeply for a long time, enjoying the Earthly Paradise she had found. Then, she decided that she would love Heaven and Earth every day, because everything was God; God was everywhere, even within her.

After a while, she recovered completely and slowly ate the last remaining fruit. Then, she packed her rucksack and went to greet all of the animals present, and so did her friends.

Safaa stroked the camels, staring into those big, dark eyes set in their incredible faces. She looked over the whole landscape one last time, then turned and started walking without looking back; she could not stay here.

They walked for three hours to the village, where their car was waiting for them. During the walk, Nafis repeated his question to Safaa. "But where had you been?"

Safaa only replied, "I can't answer that right now. Maybe one day I can express it. For now, I can only tell you that I have experienced an incredible journey straddling this world and the other."

Khalil, who was walking beside them, interjected, "The other world should resemble the plunge of a swan full of grace without rippling the surface of the water.”

Safaa replied, "Only one in a thousand will make it.

Many allow themselves to die in life and only wait for a thud, when their human body is perfect at last, until the moment when the cells reach self-destruction... a natural process that allows the soul to exhale. This is what flowers do; they cling to the last ray of light and the last drop of water every day, and only when it is time do they accept that they must return to the Earth with extreme gentleness. An older man, as well as an animal, will allow themselves to die peacefully without fear, but only when the time comes: it is difficult to get there! Before that moment, it is ineluctably and dutifully the time for struggle. This is what I have learned after the experience I had today.”

Eventually, they arrived at the market in the small village. They were assaulted by hunger, buying for a handful of dirhams some good, nutritious food, an excellent noodle and vegetable soup, and beans with tomatoes and some bread, which they ate on a bench in the shade. Safaa, who could see she was still struggling, asked in a soft but firm voice for a bottle of water from a fruit merchant sitting beside them. He replied that he had one, but it was not fresh; he told her to wait a minute and ran across the road to get some fresh water instead. The merchant had seen in her a strong woman to be revered, like their mountain women, and Safaa was gratified by this humane and kind behavior. She thanked him with a slight bow. Then, she drank and drank, taking on water to no end, watching it so clearly as it slipped down her throat. She thought back to the experience she had in the seawater, reliving it again as she drunk that cool water. It was the essence of life, together with the air.

During their subsequent car journey, while she was absorbed in admiring the passing landscape, some reflections unexpectedly enveloped her, and some images assaulted her mind: they were the faces of her family members who in the past had only belittled her, never for a second trying to understand her. Now, for as strong as she felt and strong from the power she had received from her animal and human friends, she continued looking out the window and smiling.

Those people no longer counted for anything to her; she cared not about their judgement, their absence, or their presence. She was now free to return to that old, familiar home she had abandoned. If she was to meet any of her family members again, she would have experienced the encounter, quite simply, as an encounter with a stranger whose soul she did not know, but she would consider them far inferior to the souls of the camels who had spent those two nights with her. After such an encounter, she would have said goodbye and gone on her way with her thoughts.

She finally set her thoughts back to the journey south and the landscape that changed with every passing moment; she was now launched into life, perhaps thanks to the seagulls or perhaps thanks to the pink flamingos, or maybe it had been the peace proudly displayed by her camel friends. Or, alternatively, maybe it was the incredible and hard battle for life she had endured at sea. And so, she had changed her course.

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